Sent: Thursday, September 23, 1999 3:44 AM
Subject: Bone Marrow Transplant Update, 9/23/99

Friends,

Well, you can see by the time that it's the small hours of the morning.  
Trouble sleeping is one of the problems that I have had to deal with.  

It's been hard since we came back from Hawaii last week.  The elevation here 
keeps me constantly tired and weak.  But I can get used to that.  A bigger 
problem is the anti-climax of the vacation.  My next vacation will be 
entering the hospital in six weeks for, most likely, the worst experience of 
my life.  As the time draws closer, the reality of what will happen is 
becoming more and more real.  Months of being totally dependent on drugs and 
expert medical care are a wide departure from my normal life.  Before this 
hit me, I probably didn't take anything as potent as an advil within the last 
five years.  The dependency on others is also something that will be hard to 
take.  I have built up an independent life style where I am in charge, where 
I can help out others.  Then there's the chemotherapy.  

Tomorrow I am going to Denver for my second bone marrow biopsy.  The first 
was in early June and led directly to the MDS diagnosis on June 21, the 
summer solstice, the first day of summer.  Well, I've lived with this 
terrible knowledge for a whole season, a quarter of a year.  Honestly, this 
summer hasn't been all that bad.  Sure, I didn't do a lot of the things that 
I would normally do in the summer.  The lack of gardening has been hard.  No 
backpacking.  Generally staying at home and resting.  But overall my spirits 
have been good and I've managed to keep my self optimistic and positive about 
my future.  The optimism is still there, but at this late hour tonight it's a 
little hard to avoid thinking about the terror that I will be going through.  
It's like knowing for sure that in about 6 weeks I am going to be involved in 
a real bad car crash.

Still looking for local platelet donors.  Three of you have told me they will 
contribute to the cause.  Platelets only last for about 5 days, so the timing 
of the donations will be when I am in the hospital, possibly also later in 
the apartment.  Let me know if you are up for this.  I or someone else will 
let you know what needs to be done.

Sorry about the downside tone of this message.  But people said they wanted 
to be kept informed.

Dave